Shadow Work Diaries: A Black Man’s Raw Journey Through His Dark Side

Shadow Work Diaries: A Black Man’s Raw Journey Through His Dark Side

I'm Jae Superior and let’s get real: every man has a shadow. Do you want to know about mines? It’s loud, hungry, and sometimes a motherfucka to control. If you’re reading this, you probably know what I mean—the part of you that gets turned on by power, control, or even the idea of dominance. The part that scares you, but also… excites you. This isn’t about shame. It’s about honesty. And if we’re gonna talk about men’s mental health and healthy masculinity, we have to start with the truth.

Facing My Own Monster

I remember the first time I really saw my shadow. I was watching a movie—some gritty, violent shit—and there was a scene where a man took what he wanted. No permission. Just raw, unfiltered power. And my dick? It reacted. Hard. That moment fucked with my head. Was I a monster? Was I broken? Or was I just… human?

That’s the thing about shadow masculinity: it’s not about being a villain. It’s about acknowledging the parts of yourself that society tells you to hide. The rage, the lust, the hunger for control. These aren’t just “bad” traits—they’re part of what makes us men. But if we don’t confront them, they control us in silence.

Why Do Men Have Violent Fantasies?

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: why the fuck do men have violent fantasies? Why do we get turned on by power, dominance, or even aggression? Is it biology? Is it conditioning? Or is it something deeper?

Science says it’s a mix. Our brains are wired for survival, and that means we’re wired for aggression. But society takes that wiring and twists it, telling us that real men are dominant, powerful, and in control. Porn, movies, and even our language reinforce this shit. “Take her,” “fuck her,” “dominate him”—these aren’t just words. They’re scripts for how we’re supposed to act.

But here’s the real question: how do we control aggressive thoughts in men? How do we keep the beast inside from taking over? Or do we really want it to take us over? 

My Shadow Work Routine

I’m not a therapist, but I am an erotic wellness coach, a mens health consultant attached to a few other hats i wear—but I’m just a Black man trying to figure this shit out. But here’s what works for me:

Self-Reflection: I take time to sit with my thoughts. No judgment. Just honesty. What am I feeling? Why? Where is this coming from? ( I do a whole fucking self review.)

Open Dialogue: I talk to my boys. Real talk. No bullshit. We share our struggles, our fantasies, our fears. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. (real friends are hard to come by if you can mange to find just one you're lucky asf.)

Therapeutic Support: I’ve seen a therapist. More than once. It’s not weak to ask for help. It’s strong as fuck. I'm able to manage shit myself because I've done the fucking work! It takes work—period! Online Therapy for Men's Depression: Benefits and Expectations.

If you're Black then you probably want a therapist that truly understand your background and where we come from—which is completely understandable. Explore 8 sites that provide access to Therapy for Black men 

Mindfulness: I practice being present. Not just in my head, but in my body. When the rage or the lust starts to bubble up, I notice it. I don’t act on it. I just… notice.

Consensual Exploration:If I’m into kink or power play, I make sure it’s safe, sane, and consensual. Fantasy is one thing. Reality is another.

The Power of Acknowledgment

Acknowledging my shadow doesn’t make me a bad person. It makes me honest. It’s the first step toward healthy masculinity and real men’s mental health. If I can face my own darkness, I can control it. If I can talk about it, I can grow from it.

So here’s my challenge to you: look your shadow in the eye. Don’t run from it. Don’t shame yourself for it. Just see it. Own it. And then decide what you’re gonna do with it.

Because the real power isn’t in denying your darkness. It’s in confronting it, understanding it, and choosing how you let it shape your life.

Shadow Work Diaries: A Black Man’s Raw Journey Through His Dark Side - FAQs

Q1: What is the "shadow" Jae Superior refers to?

A: According to Jae Superior, the "shadow" is the loud, hungry, and sometimes difficult-to-control part of himself that gets turned on by power, control, or even the idea of dominance. It includes aspects like rage, lust, and the hunger for control – parts society often tells men to hide.

Q2: Who is Jae Superior? 

A: Jae Superior is a Black man who identifies as an erotic wellness coach and a men's health consultant. He shares his personal, raw journey of confronting and understanding his own "dark side" or shadow.

Q3: Why does Jae Superior believe men need to confront their "shadow"? 

A: He believes that confronting the shadow is crucial for men's mental health and healthy masculinity. If men do not acknowledge these parts of themselves, they can control them silently. Facing the darkness is the first step toward controlling it and growing from it.

Q4: What does "shadow masculinity" mean in this context? 

A: "Shadow masculinity" refers to acknowledging the parts of oneself that society tells men to hide, such as rage, lust, and the hunger for control. Jae Superior clarifies that it's not about being a villain, but about recognizing these traits as inherent to being a man, and understanding that unaddressed, they can lead to being controlled by them.

Q5: Why do men have violent or dominant fantasies, according to the text? 

A: The text suggests it's a mix of biology and conditioning. Our brains are wired for survival and aggression, but society then twists this wiring, telling men that "real men" are dominant and in control. Media like porn and movies, and even everyday language, reinforce these "scripts."

Q6: What is Jae Superior's personal routine for engaging in shadow work? 

A: Jae Superior's routine includes:

• Self-Reflection: Taking time to sit with thoughts honestly, without judgment.
• Open Dialogue: Engaging in "real talk" with trusted friends about struggles, fantasies, and fears.
• Therapeutic Support: Seeking help from a therapist, which he sees as a sign of strength.
• Mindfulness: Practicing presence and noticing intense emotions like rage or lust without acting on them.
• Consensual Exploration: Ensuring that any exploration of kink or power play is safe, sane, and consensual.

Q7: Does Jae Superior recommend professional therapy? 

A: Yes, he strongly recommends therapy, stating he has seen a therapist "more than once." He emphasizes that asking for help is "strong as fuck" and mentions online therapy options, specifically highlighting resources for Black men to find culturally understanding therapists.

Q8: What is the ultimate message or challenge Jae Superior presents to readers? 

A: He challenges readers to "look your shadow in the eye," to see it, own it, and decide what to do with it without shame. The core message is that real power comes not from denying one's darkness, but from confronting it, understanding it, and consciously choosing how it shapes one's life.